My baby's in Cali

  My baby's in Calie. Far, far on the west side. San Antonio? Sacramento?San Diego? I don't know. One of those S names. Maybe when she comes back she'll teach me how to surf. We'll go to Lake Michigan and hang ten. When we grow tired of the nonexistent waves we'll paddle through all the connecting great lakes. On to the St Lawerence Freeway and into the Atlantic Ocean. At this point our arms will be beyond tired, so we'll stop and let the waves carry us where they carry us. The summer sun will beat down on us. Rendering us even more tired. We'll fall asleep, and in that moment a massive tentacle comes out of the ocean. It narrowly misses us and hits the board. We fly off the board and try desperately to swim away, but another massive tentacle appears and wraps itself around our legs. It begins to pull us down. We take a deep breath and....  We are underwater. But it's unusual. It's very very unusual. We can see clearly. Unlike when you are at the beach and you try to open you eyes underwater, but all you see is darkness. This is not the case at all. It's like another world. It's as if we got pulled down through the many layers of ocean to something completely  different. There is still a bit of a blue background, but we're dry and we're not weightless anymore. Confused, we walk around this vacant, powder - blue world until we see a stairwell that is attached to nothing at all.  On top of the stairwell stands the massive octopus. He's purple with top hat and a can that he clutches tightly with one of his tentacles. " I'm sorry about that" He says in a perfect upper- class British accent. " But it was the only way I could get you to come to my party" "The party?"  Olivia asks confused. " Yes the party. You two were the first to arrive because you were the closest in proximity."  "Who else is coming?" I ask. The octopus "scratches " his head. "Let's see. Mr. Yeti, Ms. Nessy, Mr. Sasquatch. Lots of people. Lots of interesting people." The octopus wobbles down the stairs. " But there is much catching up we must do."  "You don't even know us" Olivia snaps. " "Not yet, but I will, we'll all know each other. It'll be grand." The octopus wobbles ahead of us towards a small doorway in the otherwise vacant powder blue backdrop. "Come along now." I start to walk to the door, Olivia stops me. " You think this is a good idea?" I shrug. "It's free food."  " The food could be poisonous." "Shit, you're right. let's go up the stairs." So we start to walk up the stairs. As we're halfway up the stairs we see this black ominous creature with bat like wings. "What the fuck is that?" Olivia asks. "I don't know."  "What up bitches? It's me, the Jersey Devil." " Oh my God Olivia, we have go to the dinner party now." " But he seems like a jackass. I don't even know who the Jersey Devil is." "Olivia, he's cryptozoology royalty. That's all you need to know."  Olivia shakes her head. " Alright, I chose the next destination though." So we walk back down the stairs, to the dinner party. With the Jersey Devil closely behind us.