Gutter Snap

I glanced at my legs hovering over puffy clouds. I was hanging from a gutter, high above the world, with one arm. Things could not get worse. Reeeeeeeek. My heart dropped as I felt myself sink even further. The gutter was now hanging on by a thread. I looked down again. I saw the long, thick chain. It was a huge risk, but it was my only option. I swung my legs as close to the chain as I could. VOOM. Before I had the chance to jump, the gutter snapped off the roof. I free feel for some time. Luckily the chain is a few miles long. After falling for what felt like an eternity I grabbed hold of the chain with one tired arm. I then hoisted myself up. This was my time, and I would complete my mission, damn it. I untied my red hood and cape, and fastened it securely to the chain. This was my sail, and I was the captain.

Olivia's Exit

Unfortunately, Olivia's exit out of the attic was not a pleasant one. The wind violently pushed her forward causing her to tumble down the stairs. Bruised and dazed, she came to her feet only to fall once more this time down a marble staircase. The Wellness Center continued to shake. Olivia crept along the walls, trying her best to stand up straight. She noticed in this ivory colored hallway there were no doors or windows, but only outlines of ones done in blue crayon. Where these plans yet to be materialized? She wondered to herself. She leaned against one of the door outlines only to have the wall collapse behind her. She fell backwards into a dark room filled with boxes of all sizes and shapes.

Gutter Punk

Ever do something you immediately regret  after? I'm having one of those moments right now. I came up with the brilliant idea of going outside and hoisting a sail to the roof. Should have dawned on me that the winds are much more violent and destructive outside. I was only half way out the window. The wind pulled me out the rest of the way out. I tumbled down the upside down roof, trying in vain to grab a hold of anything. Luckily, I was cradled in  a small gap between a partially outstretched gutter and the roof. I wasn't about to celebrate though because I knew this wasn't a secure spot. I moved ever so slowly. I did not want to make this a bigger problem. I gradually shifted my weight. I thought I was doing well until I witnessed all the screws pop out around me. The gutter slid out more which caused me fall backwards. Thankfully, I was able to latch on to the gutter with one free hand. However, the gutter slid out even more, and I was now dangling in the middle of the sky. I sure hope Olivia's mission is going much smoother.

Attic

The anchor chain brought us to a small, oval - shaped, attic widow. I'm guessing that is what Todd was referring to when he talked about an alternative entrance. However, the window is even smaller than the chimney. There is no possible Barry could have fit through. We push the window open and squeeze in. Just like the chimney entrance we are right side up when get in, and just like the chimney entrance it is not adorned with anything. There isn't even old boxes filled with Christmas decorations like what one would normally find in an attic. Just us and creaky floor boards. Olivia calls out Todd's name. There is no response. "Where do you think he is?" I ask. Olivia shrugs. "He could be anywhere." We creep though the attic trying to find the exit. As we are a mere feet away from the attic latch, the Wellness Center shakes, throwing us against the wall. "What was that?" Olivia asks, grasping her neck. "Gust of wind." I attempt to leave through the window. Olivia pulls me back. "What are you doing?" "The wind is only going to get worse. I'm going to go out there and make a sail. You find Todd."

Fourth Wall Letter

The higher we climbed, the more difficult it was to hang on. The winds pushed us violently back and forth. "We have to keep going." Olivia urges. I knew she was right. I knew that staying still could do no good, but at that moment a paper airplane caught my attention. It flew around my head like an insect. Olivia, seeing that I was distracted, snatched it away. "Hey." She shouted, whiling opening it up. "It's a letter from your sister." "Well that's nice. What does it say?" I ask. Olivia skims it over. "It says that this blog that we're in right now is nominated for some award." "No kidding?" "Yeah, it looks like it is a fun way for other writers to branch out and connect." "That's a good idea. Is there anything we have to do?"  "Not really. Is there anyone you want to pass this along to though?" "Right off the bat I can think of Antonio Soriano @antoniosoriano.com. He's a great musician." Olivia nods her head in agreement. "Anyone else?" "There is this guy who does old comic book reviews. It's called retrocomicreviews."  I think for a moment. "Hmm that's only two." "That's ok, we can always edit this thing later." "So, is that all then?" I ask. "Almost, there's a few questions for you. Here I'll give you the letter."

1) Why do you blog?
Well, I guess the simplest way to explain it is that I have so many ideas floating around in my brain. I have to do something with them. The nice thing about blogging is that there is an audience for just about everything. Nothing is too strange or out there. Right now I want to stretch my imagination as far as I possibly can.


2) Who is your favorite author?
Hard question, but I would have to say that Roald Dahl would be up there. His books are always so adventurous and picturesque.

3) What is your favorite childhood memory?
When I was six my older siblings wanted me to dress up as Peter Pan for Halloween. It would fit their theme if I did. ( They went as Tiger Lilly and a Pirate.) But I wanted to go as a Lion, and wasn't going to back down. So, I went as an adorable lion, and I like to think we got a decent amount of candy that year because of it.

4) Who has been your most influential person in your life? Why?
I'm sure this may  disappoint some, and I'm not trying to be diplomatic, but I don't think I could possibly name one person or thing. From my immediate family, to random people I meet on walks to Tim Burton movies they have all shaped the way I write in some way or another.

5) What would an ideal vacation/ get away look like?
I've always been drawn to the East coast. I'd like to Visit Main. I think it would be pretty.

6) What is one thing you do exceptionally well , but can't often talk about it because it would seem like bragging? 
I am quite good at identifying voices from commercials or cartoons. I usually can get it right away, but sometimes I have to listen for a few minutes.

7) What is your favorite food?
It is a toss up between mashed potatoes and apple pancakes. Two  different worlds, but I like them both so much that it is a tie.

8) Have you ever practiced an acceptance speech in the mirror, and if so what was the award that you accepted?
I have actually. Not in a while, but yes. I believe it was an award for Best Original Screenplay. I went on and I and on. I think even  in my mind the orchestra attempted to drown me out. So, I shouted above them,

9) What makes you laugh?
I am a sucker for a good pun. The cheesier the better.

10) What is something you would like to see happen in your lifetime?
This is something I have thought about long and hard. It's 2016, and it baffles why this has not yet come into being. We have the technology and the resources. It is time once and for all to make edible Easter grass a reality. Think about it? With edible Easter grass you will not have to worry about discovering it months later because it will be far too tasty. I think we all deserve this.

I smiled to myself as I answered the last question out loud. No it is my turn to ask the questions.
Why blog?
What was your biggest inspiration?
Do you have a favorite book/ author?
If you had all the money in the world what would you do?
What is your favorite animal?
What is your favorite dish?
If you could be any literary character who would you be?
What makes you laugh?
What is your favorite childhood memory
What would you like to see happen within your life?Kristinwagner@wordpress

Anchor's Away

There was a long chain that connected  to the bottom of the Wellness Center on one end, and to an anchor that was buried under clouds on the other end. The chain was enormous. It was about 3 feet wide. Cutting it wouldn't be an easy task. "If I had my blow torch we could melt those chains in no time." The Cook thinks out loud. "You have a blow torch?" I ask, excitedly. "Yes. I use it for some dishes. It's in the kitchen though, and I have no idea where that is." "A lot of good that does us." I say under my breath. Olivia kneels down. She begins to brush away some clouds. "What are you doing?" I ask. "I want to unbury the anchor." "That's not a bad idea. At least then we'd know what we're dealing with." I say. The three of us dig through the clouds with our hands. There are many thick, cotton - like layers. The clouds bend, but they don't break. So we have to pull them out slowly and surely bit by bit, and place them to the side. Finally we unearth (or uncloud) the anchor. It is a massive, rusty anchor about 5 feet in height. The cook whistles. "That'll do it. What should we do now?" Before either of us has a chance to explain, the anchor begins to sway back and forth. "I don't think we have to do anything more." Olivia says, glancing at the anchor that is lifting off the ground. Olivia and I jump on to the anchor. "Where are you going?" The Cook shouts. "We have to take care of Todd now. We don't want him getting hurt." Olivia shouts back. "But what about me?" He asks.  "You'll be fine. The clouds will follow us, and if they don't we'll be be back." We watched the Cook become smaller and smaller as we ascend into the sky.

Whisky and Woes

Climbing the inside of the chimney proved much easier the second time around. The Cook even seemed to enjoy the whimsical entrance. He laughed and joked the whole way up. However, as soon as we entered the the Wellness Center, his attitude changed to annoyance. He repeatedly shouted "Where is that bastard?!" and "I'll kill him!" To no one's surprise, Todd did not greet us with open arms and a smile. In fact he didn't come out at all. It was clear that Todd was hiding. Still, I took Olivia and the Cook to Todd's office. It had the same dirty, cramped feeling as before. The only difference was that Todd was missing this time. "Where is he?" The Cook growls. "I don't know." Olivia says. "When will he be back?" "I don't know." She repeats, but with more agitation in her voice. "You want to look around elsewhere?" I ask. The Cook does not respond. He sees a half empty bottle of whisky on the table. "No, that won't be necessary." "You sure?" The Cook doesn't respond. He instead rummages through drawers and cabinets. "You sure?" I repeat. He still does not respond. He continues to rummage until he finds three shot glasses. He places them on the table directly on top of the blueprint. "Oh, I'm sure. Right now I know this is the best place to be." He pours us each a shot. We say \cheers, clink our glasses, and down the shots in one gulp. It was strong whisky. It burned like nothing I ever tasted, and I'm sure I winced while drinking it because the Cook snickered to himself. "So, your place disappeared?" Olivia asks. The Cook nods. "Did it just vanish in thin air?" "Don't know. I went out for a walk one day, and then when I cam back I couldn't find it. I couldn't find anybody. I couldn't even find my garden. You know how bad that is?" "Does it mean people will go hungry?" I ask. "It means they'll starve." He clarifies. "How does a whole village disappear?" Olivia wonders. "I don't know, but ever since this building and the clouds came in I can't see anything." "What if we get rid of the clouds?" I suggest. The Cook shakes his head. "I think we can only get rid of the clouds by getting rid of the building, and I certainly don't want to blow it up." "Maybe we don't have to." Olivia replies. "What are you talking about?" He asks. "The building is tethered to the clouds by an anchor. If we found a way to cut the anchor perhaps the building will float away, and the clouds will come with it." The Cook's face suddenly becomes more relaxed. "That just might work."

Angry Cook

Peter's head was stuck in the clouds, and Todd lost his mind. Things were looking grim. Olivia and I walked the clouds, trying to find the villagers. No one turned up. "You think we should go back there?" Olivia asks, kicking a puff of cloud. "Go where." "There." She says, pointing to the upside down Wellness Center in the distance. "Yeah, I guess." We mozey back. Neither one of us is thrilled, but it's somewhere to go. Then, out of nowhere, I am tackled. I don't see who it is right away, but I feel someone punching my sides, and shouting "You bastard." Olivia hearts my attacker. He immediately stops. I look up to see a stunned Cook. "What was that about?" Olivia asks. "You'll have  to forgive me. I'm quite upset." "Obviously." I say, sitting up. "Why are you upset?" Olivia asks him. "Because..." The Cook's face becomes deadly serious. "He stole my house." "I didn't do anything of the sort." "You most certainly did." "I did not." Olivia steps between us. "Why do you think he took your house?" Olivia asks the Cook. "Because he did. He hated it. And now it's gone and all I have is that eye sore in the sky." "We didn't authorize that." Olivia assures. "Oh yeah, just pass the blame on someone else." He sneers. "Look, we can get your place back. Where is everyone else?" She grills. "I don't know. They disappeared. Everything disappeared." Olivia cracks her knuckles. "Then it's time for us to find everything."

Lone Gatekeeper

"Peter, what are you doing?" Olivia asks in a quiet voice. "What ever do you mean?" "There's no gate. You're not standing in front of anything." She explains. Peter turns around. He grins at the lack of scenery. "But there will be. My job is here like it always was." "What are you just going to wait for him to build a gate?" I ask. "It will happen." He says. "It may take a while." Peter raises a finger. "But patience is a virtue." "One that I'm not sure I possess." I mutter. "By the way, how does the building look?" He asks. "Well, Todd's officially gone insane." I say. Peter furrows his brow. "The Wellness Center is upside down." Olivia adds. "Then perhaps I shall be upside down." Peter bends over, and like an ostrich he places his head in the clouds. I try to pull his head out, but Olivia stops me. "Just let him be. I have a feeling it's only going to get weirder."

Chimney Slide

Exiting Todd's new fangled Wellness Center was easier, and also more enjoyable than entering. The chimney down was a fast, fun slide. It even shot us out safely on a padded cloud. "That was fun." I shout excitedly, dusting myself off. "You're in favor of this now?" "I'm leaning that way." Olivia squints her eyes. "What?" "You're so easy to please sometimes."  We wander about, searching for anybody from the village. One silhouette caught our eyes. "Is that him?" I ask pointing towards the silhouette. We creep closer to the shadowy figure. It doesn't take long for us to receive and answer. We soon find out its exactly who we thought it was. It's Peter, but he stands in front of nothing, and he looks out at nothing. There is not even a gate behind him. He cranes his neck to us. "Oh hello. I knew you'd show."

Blueprint

We scaled the inside of the chimney by putting our backs to the wall and pushing up with our legs. It was fun and exhausting at the same time. The chimney felt as if it stretched on for miles. We were relieved when we could finally see the fireplace entrance. We expected to go in through fireplace and come out on the inside of the roof. To our surprise , everything was right side up. We curiously glanced back in the fireplace and wondered how this could be. "Welcome." Todd shouts while our heads are still in the fireplace. We take our heads out to greet him. "How can this be?" I ask. "How can what be?" "The building is upside down, but inside is not." "Everything is upside down at first glance. What do you think of it?" "It's majestic. " Olivia says. "Thank you. It's not finished though." Indeed it wasn't . As spectacular as the entrance was, it was still pretty plain on the inside. There was one hanging chandelier, but that's about it. "So, did you get him?" Todd asks. "He's outside."Olivia replies. "What's he doing out there? Being scary I bet." "He couldn't fit in the chimney." "Yeah, was that the only way to get in?" I add. "Of course that's the only way to get in. That's the entrance. And what do you mean he couldn't get in?" "Have you seen him? He's huge. He's bigger than Andre the Giant." I quip. Todd shakes his head. "No, this will not do. Come with me." We follow Todd down the hall. He takes us to a small room that is filled with stacks and stacks of papers. There is a small, wooden table at the center of the room. Todd unrolls the blueprints of the New Wellness Center. "Alright let's see what we can do. Aha. There is an anchor in the back-" "Why is there an anchor?" I interrupt. "To keep it tethered to the ground." "We didn't need that before." "We're a new Wellness Center. Just stay with me. The minotaur can climb up the anchor." "And he'll have to do that every time?" Olivia asks. "Yeah, I suppose I could set up a pulley system. Make a dumb waiter sort of thing." "Or you could put the building back on the ground." Olivia says. "What's the fun in that? Didn't you guys like coming in through the chimney?" "It was interesting." "I have a feeling the novelty might wear off." Olivia adds. Todd scratches his head. "You two don't know what you're talking about." "Perhaps not." I say under my breath. "Where is everyone else?" Olivia asks. "Around somewhere." "In the building?" "No. No one wanted to help me. They're... I don't know... somewhere." Olivia turns to me. "We need to find them."

Deserted Cloud

Lucky showed up. It would have been nice if he arrived slightly earlier, but I was relieved to see him none the less. He flew us to a seemingly deserted cloud. The three of us hopped off Lucky and stared at our surroundings. "Are we in the right place?" Olivia asks. Lucky squawks. "Well, where is everyone?" Lucky squawks again. "Of course you don't know." Barry sneers. Lucky walks away leaving us alone in a strange, new place. The three of us wander around, trying to find some form of life. I was staring at my shoes as I was walking forward (as I often do.) As you may have guessed, this did not serve me well. I smacked into something and landed on my back. "Are you alright?" Olivia shouts, rushing to my side. I rube my eyes. I know now what struck me down. It was a long chimney attached to a grand upside down mansion. "Looks like Todd's been busy." I say, sitting up. Olivia and Barry glance up. "Indeed he has." Barry replies. "We should probably go in, but it looks as though the front door is miles up. Any ideas?" I ask. "Yeah." Barry says. "And that would be?" Barry knocks on the chimney."Are you suggesting we go in through the chimney?" I ask. "I am." "Do you think we can fit in there?" "You two can."

Hail Storm

I call out Olivia's name, and I am repeatedly met with no response. "You need to revise your strategy." Barry informs. "What do you suggest?" "I don't know, but you need to get in there." I put out my palm. A tiny rain drops splashes off my hand. "Not really. It's only raining." As if on cue it immediately downpours after I finish my sentence. "I've played in the rain before. I can handle this." I say. A sharp, pea sized hail hits me in the head. It hurts like hell. "I have no time for this." Barry pushes me aside. He blocks the falling hail with his back. I look away, but I can hear the hail hitting him. His does his best to catch them with his back, but a few of them crash into the boat which causes small holes. The hail storm is incredibly loud and seems to go on forever. Eventually it stops. I look up at Barry. He has large,  jagged, throwing star shaped hail embedded in his back. "Shit." I say referring to his back. "Tis but a scratch and no more." The clouds part and the sun comes out. Olivia opens her eyes. "Did I fall asleep." She asks while lowing her shield. "You did." I reply. "Did I miss anything good?" "Nothing we couldn't handle." Barry says. A loud falcon cry could be heard overhead. Barry scoffs. "Figures he shows up now."

Her Shield

Night fell as we traveled deeper into the Mediterranean. The stars were out and I wanted to show Olivia their splendor,but she was fast asleep. She slept sitting up with a small pink bubble around her. "What is that?" Barry asks about the bubble. "It's like her force field." "Really? So nothing can get in?" "I'm not too sure about that. I mean she has had her bubble in the past when she was sleeping, but it was always like a thin layer. Anything could get in at that point. Probably because her concentration is not on the bubble." I explain. "Try it now. I'm sure she's stronger." Barry urges. At Barry's request I attempt to break through Olivia's barrier. My had stops abruptly. It feels as if I am hitting a brick wall. "I can't get in." I say. "Guess she has gotten stronger." Barry replies.  "I guess, but why would she need that when she's sleeping?" "Keep away the demons?" Barry suggests. "You think?" Barry shrugs. "It's keeping you away." "Hardy har har." Barry half smiles. "But in all seriousness you're gonna wanna get in there soon. "Why?" A tremendous thunderbolt can be heard not too far away. It shakes our little boat back and forth. Barry sniff the air. "Because it's going to downpour very very soon."

Row Boat

Barry found us a small row boat. It wasn't much. It could barely fit the three of us, but it was enough. With it it we were able to make our journey to the new Wellness Center. "You know where to go?" I ask. "Sort of. I have an idea." He replies. "That's more than we have right now." Olivia adds. Barry stops his rowing and sits back. "Why did you stop?" I ask. "It may be awhile. You two should at least enjoy the scenery before we get too far out." We take a look at the beautiful seaside villages. "You don't think Lucky is coming back?" I ask. Barry shrugs. "He'll come back when he wants to. When I was leaving the Wellness Center all those months ago I asked him to take me to Crete." "Did he?" Olivia interrupts. " He did, and then he went off." "You think they were trying send us away?" I wonder. "It's possible. It's very possible." Barry says. "Should we even bother calling him then?" I ask. Barry looks out into the distance. "Yes, but we have to keep going. We can't wait on him."

Whistle at the Sky

The three of us stand in the rubble and whistle loudly at the sky. Our cries fall to deaf ears. Olivia and I wonder if perhaps we had lost our touch to communicate with our feathered friends. "Which one are we waiting on?" Barry asks. "Lucky." I reply. Barry rolls his eyes. "What's the problem?" I ask. "Lucky is unreliable." "Does that mean he won't show up?" Olivia asks. "He might or he might not. But I'm not going to wait around to find out," He responds. Barry starts to walk away. "Where are you going?" Olivia shouts. "We're on an island. There has to be a boat around here somewhere."

Down the Hole

The hole opened up to a three foot drop. We then had to walk through a claustrophobic corridor. Our backs were to one wall and our faces were less than one inch away from the other wall. We cautiously crept through knowing that we could easily get stuck at any moment. Towards the end of the corridor we were greeted by a bright, yellow light. We wondered what could possibly be causing such illumination. We exited the corridor to see a massive underground pond. Swimming in the pond were brightly glowing yellow fish. "They're beautiful." Olivia says in amazement. "Do I know you?" Barry shouts from across the pond. "You do, and we have come for you." I say with clenched fists. Barry laughs. "What's so funny?" I demand. "What makes you think I'd want to leave?" "Because you're lonely?" Olivia suggests. "Minotaurs don't get lonely." He scoffs. "I don't know what we could say to convince you to leave, but we were asked to get you." I say. "By Todd?" He asks. We both nod. "Now I'm definitely not coming back. He let the Wellness Center go to shit." "I know he didn't take care of the Wellness Center like he should have, but we're in charge now, and we're building a bigger and better one. " Olivia declares. "Bigger and better? Does that mean we can have an expanded racket ball court?" He inquires. "Yeah, sure. You can have whatever you want." I reply.  Barry stands up. "Well I'm sold." He examines the corridor we came from. "Don't know if I can fit through there, but I have an idea. Take cover." "Why?" I ask. "Just do as I say." He snarls. We reluctantly walk back into the corridor. Barry pounds his fists violently against the floor. Little bits of rock fall from the ceiling. He pounds harder. The rocks are bigger and bigger. He pounds continuously harder and harder. The rocks turns to boulders. Before we know it the cave is all but gone and we are two humans and a Minotaur standing standing in rubble by the side of the road.

Dark Cave

The darkness of the cave welcomed us. It wrapped its cold and damp shadows around us. We could not see one inch ahead because of that. We reached for a wall, but to no avail. So we walked slowly using the echos from our footsteps to guide us. The echos helped us through the darkened maze, but they also caught the attention of many flying, fury creatures. We were soon surrounded by tiny, ferocious bats. Olivia and I immediately dropped to the floor. "Don't worry they won't bite you." I assure. "That doesn't make me feel better." Olivia replies. "Just stay low." The bats wiz back and forth. Our faces touch the cold rock floor at this point. I crawl along the floor, tying to find a way out. My hands grope a small opening. "I found a hole. We can get out of here." I shout. "Where are you?" She asks. "I don't know. Follow my voice."

Boarded Up

"What  we need is on the other side." Olivia says, pointing to the boarded up cave entrance. I sluggishly walk up to the cave. I kick the gravel in the process. It creates chalky clouds by my feet. I stop to examine the boards seamlessly nailed into the cave. "You think he's in there?" I ask Olivia. She shrugs. "We won't know until we look." I grab a two by four and yank it off. It is surprisingly easy. Olivia joins in. In no time the boards are all torn off. We stare into the dark entrance. It is as if the shadows swallow any and all light that enters. "You think their  government did this?" I ask. "Why would they?" "It's was boarded up. They obviously don't want us to look around." Olivia grins. "Then we should go in."