Unemployment check

I received my first unemployment payment today. I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I'm thinking "ooo yeah, I have incoming money." On the other hand it's "Wait do I really deserve this?" I guess in the eyes the government I do otherwise they wouldn't have given it to me. Right? Being unemployed is strange and often draining. You feel like you have to spend every waking moment looking for a job and if you don't you feel guilty about it. I was never suspended or expelled from school, but I would compare it to that. You don't necessarily enjoy going to school or work, perhaps after the first day or so part of you may even enjoy all the extra time to yourself. Then reality sinks in and you realize " Shit, I'm stuck at home with my parents." Don't get me wrong I love them. I just need to spread my little birdie wings and fly. That's the hard part. I know it sounds easy enough. I also realize the only person holding me back is me. Knowing this information it should be cinch to progress in life. It should, but its not. I am trying to be the optimist though. I have my sledgehammer ready. I'm gonna bust down all my walls with it. If I have difficulty with the sledgehammer, then I'll get the crowbar and take out the bricks. One at a time. Brick by brick by brick by brick.