Critics

We applaud and cheer loudly. The Minstrel stands and takes a bow. "Thank you, but what did you think of it?" He asks. "I loved it. It was just like a movie." I tell him enthusiastically. "What did you think, Olive?" "Did this really happen?" She asks. "No, olive, I want to know if you think it was good." Olivia bites her lip. "Well, it had a beginning, it had a middle, but I don't think it had an ending." "I tried to tell you that, ya big dummy." A voice shouts out. "Who was that?" I ask. The Minstrel chuckles to himself. "Just the wife." He says casually. "Just the wife?" The voice calls out. The Minstrel lets out a loud, earth shaking chuckle. The Purple Haired woman appears out of the thick forest. " I ought to smack you." She says to the Minstrel. "I know you." I tell her. She gives a knowing smile. "So you two are married?" I ask. The Purple Haired woman piers up at the Minstrel. "It would appear as such." The Purple Haired woman flicks out her glass eye. She then digs a small hole and plants the glass eye into the ground. A moment later it grows into a lamp. "I told you it wasn't done." She says looking at Minstrel with her remaining eye. "I don't think you did." "No, I'm sure I did." The Purple Haired woman grabs a log and places it by the lamp. She stretches out the log gradually till it turns into a recliner. She plops down on the chair. "But it's good you two heard the song, now you can finish the story." She says with a grin. "What do you mean?" Olivia asks. "Just one moment." The Purple Haired woman literally removes her face. It comes off without any struggle or pain. She places the face delicately on the ground beside the chair. She grabs a handful of mad and places it where her face was previously. She rubs it all around, forming a nose, a mouth and eyes. Before we know it, she has a younger, more lively face. "You're the witch?" I ask surprised. "We walk amongst you. But hold on, I'm not done yet." She takes her elongated, boney fingers and pushes them in. One by one she makes them smaller and more youthful. "Now, where were we?" She asks. "You were telling us we need to finish the story." Olivia chimes in. "Oh yeah, you have to finish the story." "You want us to write the ending?" I ask, puzzled. "No, I want you to find the emerald. Finish what was started." The Minstrel bends down to our level. "And how do you expect them to do that? I made up the song." The Purple Haired woman shakes her head. "All stories were true at one point." She states. The Minstrel shrugs. "I didn't know that. Did you know that?" He asks, looking directly at me. "I did not know that." I tell him. The Purple Haired woman interrupts our banter. "It is true. And now you guys know what you have to do. so go." She tries to shoo me and Olivia away. We stare at each other for a moment. "Where do we look?" I ask. The Purple Haired woman points to a colossal snow capped mountain off in the distance. "I would start in that direction." Olivia's jaw drops slightly. Hmm could be fun.

Cave Movies

I was once told that lightning can't strike the same exact place twice. I'm pretty sure that theory is being disproved now. As the story is waiting to be told, I watch as lightning bolt after lightning bolt stretches across the sky. The flashes of lightning make splashes of orange on the sky. The coyote races across the cave walls, narrowly escaping bolt after bolt. In time it reaches the village. The men and women raise their spears, ready to take on the threat. The coyote, unafraid, stands on its hind legs. It transforms itself into a woman with wide hips. A fertility Goddess perhaps? The tribe drop their weapons and fall to their knees. The Goddess opens her palm and reveals a green emerald. Then men and women nod their heads in unison. They know exactly to do. Without uttering a single word, one of the men grabs the emerald from her hand. His path has now begun. He must bury the emerald at the top of the highest mountain. He knows his journey is not an easy one. It is filled much danger, but pride is taken in knowing that this is what must be done. Weeks pass by. He becomes fragile and weak. He is not the man he was when he began the journey. But he must go on. His tribe needs him. Little does he know, a hungry mountain lion is waiting for him at the top. The mountain lion eyeballs the man. It licks his lips, growing hungrier and hungrier every second. When it can take no more.... it pounces! The man is pinned under this beast. On normal conditions, he would be able to fight off the animal. However, he is too weak to move much at all. What he does manage to do is wiggle the emerald out of his pocket and flick it over the edge. If he can't complete the mission maybe someone will be able to find the emerald later and complete it for him. The mountain lion opens it's massive jaw and prepares for dinner. Right as it is about to snap down the scene fades to black. Just like in a movie, and just like in a movie the lights go back on. As soon as the lights came back on we were no longer in the cave. We are back in the forest with the The Minstrel grinning at us. "So what did you guys think?" He asks.

The Minstrel

Into the woods we go. Going against any natural instinct of survival and following the thick black smoke. "What are we doing following the smoke?" I ask as I cough up a lung. "Take it easy." Olivia says patting me on the back. We journey further into the smoke. My eyes water. Eventually there is a clearing, and the smoke disperses..... somewhat. I hear a twig snap. I clench my fists, ready for whoever or whatever is there. Nothing, there is nothing there. This could be the eye of the storm though. I remain vigilant. A bead of sweat rolls off my forehead. Just then I hear a loud stomp. I turn around to see two enormous feet on either side of me. "Olive, is that you?" A loud, booming voice calls out from the atmosphere. "Yep." She calls out. "Who's that you got with you?" "This guy? I told you about him." "Oh yeah, right on. Let me come down to you guys." I watch the massive feet shrink. The giant makes himself smaller and smaller. When he stops shrinking, he is still big for human standards (15 ft.) but at least in the end I can see all of him, rather than his head and upper body being obstructed by trees and clouds. He is a bald man dressed in funny, puffy medieval clothing. He has a guitar strapped to his back, and he smokes a cigarette. He walks over to me. "She's told me all about you. I'm the Minstrel." I shake his hand. "Was the black smoke from you?" I ask. He takes the cigarette out of his mouth. "Shit, did I do that?" "You had him worried." Olivia chimes in. "Oh no. Don't worry. Watch." The Minstrel tosses the cigarette over his shoulder. A raging inferno instantly starts up behind him. My eyes light up. "We have to do something." I shout. "Don't worry, we'll fix it." He says nonchalantly. The minstrel sits down on a tree trunk and gets ready to play. "Now, what can I do for you?" "I want you to fix the fire." I tell him. "We'll fix it." He looks to Olivia. "Is he always this tightly wound?" The Minstrel plays a couple cords. A dark cloud appears above the forest. I hear thunder followed immediately by a down pour. It rains heavily, but as soon as the flames are gone, it stops and there are blue skies once more. The minstrel chuckles. "Now, what can I do for you?" He asks. "Plays us a song, play us a good song that will take us away." Olivia requests. "Alight, let's see what I can do." He plucks just one guitar string, but it causes a huge vibration. Something is changing. He continues to play. Now everything is animated. Literally animated. Everything looks like a neolithic cave painting. Coyotes roam while men and woman carry spears. A fable or tale is beginning.

Over and Under the Fence

We descend gracefully on to a grassy field. It is a wild prairie filled with cat tails, dragonflies, crickets, frogs, and long grass that would dwarf the tallest person. We walk up to a barbed wire fence. "He's just on the other side." Olivia tells me. I examine the fence and crack my knuckles. "let's do this." I say as I place one foot in the chain link. "What are you doing?" Olivia asks curiously. "He's on the other side, right?" "Yeah." "well, we gotta climb the fence." "But there is barbed wire." I bite my cheek. "Ok, I'll get to the top and I'll make a clearing somehow." I start to climb. That's the easy part for me. I honestly have no idea how to get past the barbed wire. I reach the top, but before I can come up with a solution , my cape gets caught on the barbed wire and I lose my footing. I fall off the top and hit the ground hard. "Are you ok?" Olivia shouts from the other side of the fence. "Yeah, just a few new rips... and some bruises." "Good, now that I know you are ok.." Olivia finds a small opening at the bottom of the fence and crawls through. I stand in silence. "What?" She asks. "Did you know about that the whole time?" "Yes." "Why didn't you tell me?" "You were the one who was so eager to climb the fence." I search for something to say. "You know I'm right." She tells me. I shrug. "Eh, we both got to the other side." Olivia rolls her eyes. "Turn around." She insists. I turn around and I see a beautiful, pristine pond. In it there is a swan shaped gondola. Two women wearing Victorian - style dresses and holding parasols comfortably relax in the gondola. "It's pretty isn't it?" Olivia says to me. I nod. "We're not staying here though." "We are we going?" "To the forest on the other side." It was a long trek. The pond was more like a lake. It stretched for what felt like miles. Our feet were aching and our legs felt like they could give out at any moment, but we finally made it to the entrance of the forest. I could see long pine trees and a cloud of black smoke. Concerned, I thought I'd speak up about it. "There appears to be smoke coming out." "That's good." She says. "How is that a good thing?" "It means he's here. Ready to go in?" She asks with a playful smile.

Up Through the Atmosphere

Olivia smiles like a child as she leads the way high above the Earth. "Isn't this great? I feel just like Marry Poppins." She says to me. "And you could be Burt, you'd make such a good Burt." I smile and nod. "So where are we going anyway?" I ask. "Wouldn't you like to know?" "Actually, yes, I would." Olivia looks back at me. "All in good time." She assures me. Out of no where an angry, fiery dragon appears just feet below us. "Watch out!" I shout to Olivia. "I got this." She says confidently. Olivia extends her free arm and shoots pink, cartoon hearts out of her palm. The hearts hit the face of the dragon. His eyes light up and a big smile comes across his face. "Don't worry, he won't bother us any more." She tells me. I watch the dragon fly peacefully below us for a moment. Olivia interrupts my studying. "So what's your superpower?" "I don't know. Weird shit just sorta happens around me." Olivia snorts. "That's not a superpower. That's just called being in the right place at the right time." "Then I guess I am always in the right place at the right time." I tell her. Olivia shakes her head. "You wanna know where we're going?" "Yeah." "We're gonna see The Minstrel." "The Minstrel?" I ask, puzzled. "Yeah, and that is all you need to know right now."

Sugar Skulls and Dandelions

Here I am, watching the door, waiting for her to come out. I should explain, the door is not attached to anything. You can open it up to another land, but if you close it, you can easily walk around and see nothing but the other side of the door. Think of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Elmer Fudd is chasing Bugs Bunny. A door magically appears. Bugs Bunny steps aside, opens the door, Elmer Fudd rushes through the door, and Bugs Bunny slams the door behind Elmer. That is essentially what I am dealing with here. Except Olivia volunteered to go in. She is a brave soul. Anything could be beyond that door. Like a tiny dandelion for example. I am caught off guard. There appears to be a tiny dandelion growing out of the key hole. Intrigued, I try to pluck it out of the key hole. It won't budge. I try again. Still nothing. It is obviously stuck on something. I pull as hard as I can. I am thrown back as the door swings open. Enormous vines stretch out in every possible direction. They encircle me, and what seems to be a massive beanstalk stretches high into the sky. I pick myself up and dust myself up. I look to the sky. I can not even see the top of the beanstalk. Just birds and clouds. I do, however, hear a WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I squint my eyes. I'm not sure what is. From this distance it just looks like a black speck. The WHEEEEE noise continues. Whatever it is, it is gaining more and more momentum and getting faster and faster. All of the sudden I realize it is Olivia. She is using the vines that surround the beanstalk as a slide. I shuffle around to find something soft for her to land on. Before I have the slightest amount of success, I hear "Get out of the way!" Followed very shortly by her landing on me. Much like in a Looney Tunes cartoon neither one of us is injured, and she picks me up. "That was fun." She says excitedly. I look up at her. She is wearing a black dress with a neon blue trim, and on her face is a plastic Halloween mask. The mask resembles that of a Mexican sugar skull. She even has the red rose in her black hair. "New costume?" I ask her. "Nope." She responds casually. I decide to think nothing of it and go with the flow. "So, is it taken care of?" I ask her. She laughs. "Are you kidding me? We've only just begun." I feel slightly disappointed and defeated. Olivia plucks a giant, dead dandelion off the base of the beanstalk. It is about the size of my head. "Make a wish." She says whimsically. I take a deep breath and I blow. The seeds start to disperse into the air. "Quickly!" She shouts. Olivia jumps up and grabs two seeds. She hands one to me and holds onto the other one. Then, before I know it, we ascend into the air.

Sweet Olive

I tracked down my Olivia.... alright she tracked me down. I couldn't hide if I wanted to. I'll brood and I'll brood, and that will get sent out into the atmosphere. Then her Spidey senses will pick it up, and she'll know something is the matter. I guess she came at the nick of time. I need a companion. Outside eyes are the best ally that one could have. Especially a nice deep brown against a snowy white backdrop. One step ahead she always is. I'll be submerged in a murky swamp somewhere, and she'll be off on a planet that is yet to be discovered. Right now I have her decked out in a samurai suit. She says the precautions I am taking are unnecessary. She is probably right, but I would rather be safe than sorry. She shakes her head as she stomps by in big, clunky armor. Calmly she opens the door, as if this mission is nothing to her. Perhaps it is nothing. I don't know. She turns slightly, blows a kiss to me, and continues to walk through the door.

Park at Sundown

PLAYGROUND EQUIPMENT FOR AGES 3 - 12. PARK CLOSES AT SUNDOWN. I am currently breaking both of those rules as I am not between the ages of three and twelve, and it is well past sundown. It doesn't matter that all I'm doing is sitting on a swing, contemplating the complexities of life. They'll send the dogs. They'll bring out the SWAT team with their guns. Why? Because rules were made for a reason, damn it. There is always a rule. You can try and be a "good" person and follow every single one, but your life becomes increasingly limited as a result. So the obvious option seems to be to deviate. To follow your own path. A sense of joy can be accomplished is this respect. However, a host of other problems comes of this option. One of which is jealousy amongst other people. Unfortunately, some people can not deal with the happiness of others. Especially when they found their own way. A way that is far from the norm. Then of course there is the other problem, you are never away from yourself. It is not exactly easy to reprogram one's mind and embrace a new and better way of thinking. At least for me it's not. Look at me. I'm starting to depress myself again. I guess it's time to get the blood moving. That usually helps. I pump my legs and swing higher and higher. Faster and faster. Until... I fly off.