First of October

It’s the first of October. Where does time go? Out of my hands I suppose.  I have been piering over the side of the boat for a few hours now. On occasion I’ll see a fish flop out of the water. Mostly though I’m watching the ship cut through the water. It’s almost like when you are on an airplane and you want to look out the window, but all you can see is the wing. I'm memorized by the ship cutting though the water though. It causes little ripples. I focus on the ripples and I can see all sorts of pictures and patterns. It's the idea that when you stare at something for a long period of time, it suddenly becomes something else. Olivia is driving. Meaning I have plenty of time to see things.  Where is she taking us? I don't know, but I do trust her. A lot more than myself. Harsh words. I know, but I must be honest. The hardest thing for me is to open my mouth and say exactly what I want to say.She knows how I feel,  but uttering the words is different. I have never cared so much for any one. I could go on adventures with her until my dying days, and yet I can't say the words that I need to say. Courage, it is difficult to find at times, and it is something that is needed. Very needed. Otherwise the days will turn into weeks. The weeks to months. Months to years. Before I know it, I'll be an old man. I know what you're thinking. "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Wrong thing to say. To me at least. I'll produce a macabre scenario in my mind's eye of every possible thing that could go wrong.... It's the first of October. Cool winds are sweeping in, and ripples in the water remind me of angel Wings.