Bad Marching

I am not a soldier. I am not one for following orders. That being said, I'm having difficulties marching with the other soldiers. However, it is my lack of coordination that could be my saving grace. I first slow my pace. I bump into the soldier behind me. He angrily shoves back. "Move along will ya?" That was a good start, but I know I need to go bigger. I trip over my own foot. This causes the soldier behind me to fall down, and the one behind him to fall down, and so on an so on. It was a dangerous stunt I pulled, but I was curled up before anyone fell on me. I squeezed out of the dogpile, hoping that now I'd be home free. Now I'd be able to run away. Unfortunately, I was apprehended as soon as I got out of the pile. I felt someone gripping my shoulder. I expected to see Davies, but when I turned around I saw Jones. The young, fresh faced soldier. "Jones." I said in relief. "That's Captain Jones to you." "You were promoted?" "You're damn right I was. It's because Eagle Eyes respects me." "He doesn't respect you. He's using you." Jones squints his eyes. "I can see you are jealous-" "I'm not jealous!" I interrupt. "It's fine if you are. It's better to be jealous than a traitor. That was a nasty stunt you just pulled." "It was an accident." "Bullshit." Jones pulls me to the side. "Where are you taking me?" I ask. "I can't trust you to march with the other soldiers so I'm keeping a close, personal eye on you."