Not Punny

I like a good pun. I enjoy reading Sherman's Lagoon and occasionally Wizard of Id, but when I have to sit through sloppily crafted puns that are delivered in less than clever ways, it becomes a certain kind of torture. At first I opt for politeness, smiling on the outside, but wishing to escape my body at the same time. However, as the hours ticked away I could no longer hide my disdain. I let out a big yawn. The Jester's face dropped. "Are you not amused?" He asks. "No, not really." "Then I have not done my job. I must put you at ease. I must make you laugh." "Does that mean you're gonna tell more jokes?" I ask. "Of course." "Please don't." The jester appears hurt and wounded. "Are you disappointed with my services?" I don't answer. I don't know how to. At least not without hurting him more. "You are disappointed." He concludes. "No, it's not that. It's just I have a hard shell to crack." The jester raises an eyebrow. "A hard shell to crack?" "Yes." "Perhaps we shall get a hammer." The jester laughs at his own joke. I groan. "Your majesty, you should lighten up." "I am lightened up. I am in a jovial mood." I say. "You are? You could have fooled me." "Perhaps I did, you are the fool after all." The jester chuckles. "You are the master jokesmith. You must teach me your ways." "I must?" I question. "Yes, you must." He pleads. "I don't know. I don't think I could teach on an empty stomach." The jester smiles. " I understand fully. An empty stomach is like an empty brain." "That it is. Is it almost time to eat?" I ask. "I hope so, the cook and your other half have been gone a while." "We don't have to wait. We can find a snack." The jester shakes his head. "I would not recommend that, your majesty. We all eat together." I sigh. "It's one of those things, isn't it?" "I'm afraid so, but we can have spirits in the mean time." "You mean alcohol?" I ask. "Yes, allow me. I will lead the way."