Meditation Attempt

Here I am in the meeting room where I publicly mocked the practices of the speaker not to long ago. There is a part of me that's surprised I came back. Did I want to apologize to this man? Or do I truly feel there is work I need to do here? He told me I need to be vulnerable. Perhaps he is right, but I can't be vulnerable around strange people I've never met. Who can? "You need to calm your mind?" He insists. There's a slew of smart ass remarks I want to make, but I choose to keep to myself. I want to listen to him this time around. Even if I'm attempting to meditate in a room that still smells of petiole oil and incense. I sit criss cross apple sauce in the center of the room, and close my eyes. I try my best to concentrate. After what feels like an eternity I open my eyes. "I can't." I shout. "Sure you can." I turn my head wearily looking at a burning candle. "I don't feel good about that." I say. "Why not?" "I don't think we should leave a burning candle unattended." "It's fine, but if it would make you feel better I could blow it out." "Please do that." I beg. The speaker complies. Not long after we are left in total darkness. "This is not good either." I say. "What now?" "It's dark." "That's the perfect time to meditate but-" Before he can finish his sentence he throws the light switch. I feel my comfort level rise. A slight smile comes over my face. "Is there anything else I can get you before we start?" He asks. "I don't think so." "Good." He sits next to me, and gets in the meditative position. "I have to ask though, have you ever done meditation before?" "Sort of. Every time I try, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle music plays." "What?" "Before I can get to into it the song from the cartoon pops in my head." I explain. "Well, you clearly have some blockage. But I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath." I close my eyes and exhale slowly. "Now imagine all your stress and tension lifting away. Imagine yourself becoming lighter and lighter." For a moment his guided meditation works. I feel at ease. I feel wonderful. Then he describes an ocean breeze, and all I can picture is Michelangelo from Ninja Turtles surf boarding. I try to make the image go away. It won't leave, and the next thing I know I utter "Cowabunga." "What?" The speaker asks, perplexed. I open my eyes. "Heroes in a half shell." The speaker sighs. "Perhaps we should take a break."